It's 10.30 on Sunday morning - so what on earth am I doing in front of my computer at home writing this and not 'in church'? Shocking!!! Well before you get too uppity with me, it's only family circumstances that have kept me home today. It's my turn to look after my mum-in-law who's not been well recently and it’s Helen's turn to preach. So here I am - enjoying a lazy Sunday morning.

What have I done so far? Well I've checked my social media pages - Facebook and Twitter. It's a bit quiet on there at the moment - most of my Christian friends/followers are probably in church. It's only the odd reprobate like ... well, let's not name anyone, but you know who you are. Glory! Since I'm on-line I then checked my Fantasy Football team and saw that, once again, I chose the wrong guy as captain and missed out on some serious double points. Then I checked the week's stats for the blog. Numbers are up - so all is well on that front. Sometime in the middle of all this activity I made myself a mug of filter coffee - the dregs of which still fill my nostrils now. Mmmm ... maybe it's time for another one.

A little later I'll put on a worship CD and sit and ponder. I may even get my Bible out and read a little. When Helen comes home she'll have a recording of her sermon for me to put on our church website - so I'll catch up with what she said at some point during the week. From what she's already mentioned it'll be worth hearing. Last night I had a long conversation with a friend on the phone - and that has stirred me to pick up something I've not been doing for a while. We also had another good friend round on Friday who shared some observations her husband had made about twins being born and it feeling like a time for giving birth. It may not amount to what we traditionally call church, but I'll have worshipped, taught myself a little, been encouraged and given encouragement to others, been challenged, and on some level held to account. All the elements of the ‘church gathered’ are there - it just looks a bit different and is stretched out over a number of days rather and a couple of hours.

But I have this nagging question at the back of mind: to what extent am I deluding myself about doing church differently? In the above list there's a lot of traditional church that I'm gaining from. Most of the worship material out there is prepared and paid for by traditional models of church, as are the many Bible translations available for personal study. Helen's sermon will have been delivered in a traditional model setting and the website from where I get to listen will be the church site. Of the two friends who challenged and stirred me one is fully committed to this model - though struggling with it at times. So even though my Sunday morning has a very unstructured and non-trad feel to it, in truth I have gained a lot from the very model I haven't been inputting into.

All of which could leave me with a rather awkward position: I either quit traditional church altogether and never depend on it again, or I make what is there work for me and the many others who struggle. Any thoughts?