Yesterday I was down in Llanelli for a meeting with the German prophet, Michael Schiffmann, and the leadership of Antioch along with a couple from Cardiff. I suppose we’re all very much fellow travellers along the emerging church route, though at different stages – with me some distance behind!

Michael shared some his own journey and thoughts about emerging church and about where church in general has not been fulfilling her role as God’s agent of change and transformation in creation. Some of his views are quite radical and challenging. Yesterday was the second time I had heard him speak on these issues and I was fascinated to see my own reactions to them compared to the first hearing. Then my reactions were quite strongly negative on some aspects and both Helen and I did quite a bit of head work in trying to find good theological reasons why he was wrong! This time, however, I found myself in agreement with him on most things. Why would this be? I think there are two reasons.

First, the reading of Stuart Murray’s Post-Christendom (I’m not earning anything by pushing this book, by the way!) has been a key to understanding many of the problems with our current church model. His analysis is very insightful and though he does not offer a detailed plan as to how to bring about change, he does bring certain principles to the fore that could help. Viola and Barna’s Pagan Christianity has also been an important read where they look at some of the pagan roots to some of the ways we currently do church.

Second, and just as importantly, is my own journey of emotional healing. So much of my identity and sense of self-worth has been tied up with church leadership – and preaching in particular – that the thought of ever not doing this would cause me substantial discomfort. But yesterday as Michael challenged some of these roles and the way they have been done over the centuries I found that the buttons pushed 12 months ago were not being pushed again. A certain level of healing has been gained, then, and that has freed me up to question certain things in church life without it causing me internal difficulties.

So the journey continues, but with little sight of where it will end. Exciting eh!