Taking offence is big business in this country. It would seem that someone somewhere can’t live a full life without taking offence at something. This is why the Advertising Standards Authority was set up many years ago because some advertisements apparently cause offence and the ASA exists so that concerned citizens can complain. Its’ annual report has just been released and makes fascinating reading. (Ok, ‘fascinating’ is taking it a bit too far, but it’s a light week and reading it filled a hole in my schedule.) Let me bring to your attention some of the ads that received the highest number of complaints.

Coming in at number 9 was an ad that drew 292 objections. This was a television ad for an air freshener featuring a child saying, ‘Mummy, I want to poo at Paul’s house’. Two hundred and ninety two people were so disgusted at such an offensive ad that they picked up pen and paper and wrote a strong letter of complaint to the ASA. And quite right too. ASA’s response? No investigation required. Remarkable!

At number 7 in the list was a TV ad by Kellogg’s featuring a man chasing a runaway shopping trolley with a child in it down some steps … only to rescue the box of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes instead of the child. This one drew 323 complaints from people clearly traumatised by such a wanton disregard of human life. The ASA would take a tough line on this one surely! But, no, this ad was ‘unlikely to encourage harm to children’. Well I never!

The third most complained about ad featured an oven cleaning agent with the strap-line ‘So easy even a man could do it’. I well remember the feelings of indignation that rose in my own bruised heart when faced with this one but couldn’t be bothered enough to write a letter. Over 800 people did though. Good on you guys! It’s time we stood up to this feminist nonsense. But there was no joy to be had from the ASA as they declared that the ad was merely ‘tongue in cheek’. A quango obviously dominated by the sisterhood.

But it is the ads placed in 6th and 1st position that should cause us the most concern. They both feature adverts placed on the side of buses. You, dear reader, will no doubt remember them well. The first was an ad paid for the British Humanist Association which dared to say that God ‘probably’ doesn’t exist. Such blasphemy! In a quick riposte, though, the Christian Party paid for their own ads soon afterwards declaring, ‘There definitely is a God. So join the Christian Party and enjoy your life’. That’ll teach em! We can’t let these secularists push us around any longer, can we?

Ahh – but someone complained. Indeed, many complained about both ads. But which advert won this most comical of British pass-times? Well it would appear that the secularists complained the loudest, for with 1,204 objections the Christian Party’s ad drew the most complaints. Luckily the ASA are not allowed to judge ads by political parties and were not able to comment. The blasphemous ad drew only a pathetic 392 objections. No wonder we’re losing the battle!